The hidden connection of secret handshakes

Have you ever shared a secret handshake with a friend? That unique, carefully crafted sequence of claps and snaps that only the two of you knew? There’s something undeniably special about it—a simple gesture that symbolises trust, connection, and belonging. Secret handshakes aren’t just for childhood fun; they’re found in sports teams, clubs, and even historical societies. But what about these hidden greetings that make us feel so connected?

The Psychology Behind Secret Handshakes

At their core, secret handshakes are more than just physical movements; they are symbols of inclusion. Studies in social psychology highlight the importance of ingroup bonding—the idea that shared experiences and exclusive rituals reinforce closeness among individuals. Non-verbal communication plays a key role in deepening relationships, and a secret handshake can serve as a silent yet meaningful reminder that you are part of something special. We experience a small yet significant moment of belonging when we engage in a secret handshake.

Seeing them throughout & Cultures

Secret handshakes have existed for centuries across different cultures and groups:

• Freemasons – This organisation used secret handshakes to identify fellow members and reinforce loyalty.
• Sports Teams & Clubs – Many teams, from local leagues to professional athletes, develop their own handshakes as a form of camaraderie.
• Childhood Friendships – Who hasn’t spent time perfecting a handshake with their best mate on the playground?

These examples show that handshakes are more than just greetings—they’re a way to connect to others.

Another example is of a teacher in the US, who made a secret handshake with each of his students. Check out the video below or click here

How to Create Your Own Handshake

Creating a secret handshake is an easy and fun way to strengthen a friendship or bond within a group. Here’s a simple step-by-step guide:

1. Start with a base – A simple handshake or fist bump.
2. Add unique moves – Claps, snaps, spins, or any personal touch that makes it unique.
3. Incorporate inside jokes – Adding an action that references a shared memory makes it extra special.
4. Practise until it’s natural – Repetition will make it second nature.
5. Use it regularly – A handshake becomes meaningful through consistent use.

Encouraging creativity in your handshake ensures it remains unique and memorable, strengthening the bond it represents.

More Than Just a Handshake

It’s easy to dismiss a handshake as a small gesture, but for many, it carries deep emotional weight. Secret handshakes can serve as a source of comfort, a reminder of friendship, and even a tool for building confidence. A simple clasp of hands can say, “I see you and I trust you.”

Secret handshakes may be hidden from the world, but their impact is undeniable. They symbolise trust, unity, and a sense of belonging that transcends words. Whether it’s an old handshake with a childhood friend or a new one created in the workplace, these small gestures remind us that we are connected. So why not start one today? You never know how much joy a simple handshake can bring.

Share who your last secret handshake was with down in the comments!